Discord guide
Daniel Okonkwo writes about phones and mobile apps for Appcyclopedia, working on a MacBook Pro, a Pixel 9 Pro and an iPhone 15.
- Web
- Windows
- macOS
- iOS
- Android
Short answer
Open the Friends tab from the Discord logo at the top left (on a phone, from the friends icon), choose Add Friend, type the person’s exact username and send the request. It shows under Pending until they accept.
The username must be exact: a display name or a near miss will not find them. Ask the person for the username shown on their profile.
Below: adding by username on a computer and a phone, adding someone from a shared server, and who is allowed to send you requests.
How to send a friend request on Discord
To add a friend on Discord, use their username or find them in a server you are both in. The first group covers adding by username, the second adding from a server, and the last checks the request went out.
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Add by username
Open the Friends tab
On a computer, click the Discord logo at the top left of the server list, then Friends at the top of the direct messages column. On a phone, open your direct messages and tap the friends icon.
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Choose Add Friend and type the exact username
Select Add Friend. Type the person’s username exactly as it appears on their profile; display names, which can contain spaces and capitals, will not work. Usernames are lowercase.
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Send the request
Select Send Friend Request. If the username is right, Discord confirms the request was sent. If it is wrong or the person does not accept requests from you, Discord says it did not go through.
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Add from a server
Open the person’s profile in a shared server
In a server you are both in, click or tap their name in a message or the member list to open their profile. On a computer you can also right-click a message they sent.
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Select Add Friend on their profile
On the profile, select Add Friend or the add-friend icon. This sends the same request without typing anything. On a phone, open the profile by tapping it; the member list has no add option of its own.
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Check the request
Look under Pending
Go back to Friends and open Pending. Requests you sent wait there until the other person accepts or ignores them. You can cancel a request from the same list.
A new colleague who games after work: they send you their username, you open Friends, choose Add Friend, paste it and send. Once they accept, you can message them directly and see them in your friends list.
Ask for the username, not the display name: Discord only finds people by the exact username, and pasting it avoids typos.
More about Discord
Voice, video and text chat in servers built around games, hobbies and communities.
If your Discord friend request fails
- Discord says the request failed
Check the username letter by letter, or ask the person to copy it from their profile. The other common cause is their privacy setting, which can block requests from people they share no server with.
- The person never sees your request
Requests appear under Pending in their Friends tab, which some people never open. Mention it to them in a server or another app.
- Old guides mention a number after the name
Discord used to add a four-digit tag such as Name#1234. Accounts now use a unique username instead; type only the username.
Username or display name: what to ask for
Discord shows two names, and only one of them finds a person.
| Username | Display name | |
|---|---|---|
| Unique | Yes, no one else has it | No, anyone can use the same one |
| Used for adding friends | Yes | No |
| Format | Lowercase, no spaces | Any text, with capitals and spaces |
| Where you see it | Under the display name on a profile | In chat, above messages |
Always ask for the username: it is the only name Discord can search for.
Who can send you friend requests
Your own settings decide who can add you. In User Settings, the friend request options let you allow requests from everyone, from friends of your friends, or from people in servers you share.
Narrowing it to people you share a server with cuts out most spam while still letting people you meet in a community add you.
What to do after adding a friend
Once someone accepts, they appear in your friends list with their online status, and you can message or call them directly.
Open Friends, choose Add Friend, paste the exact username and send. When you have a few friends, creating a server gives the group its own space with channels.
Discord friends: common questions
- Can I message someone on Discord without adding them?
- Sometimes. If you share a server and their settings allow direct messages from server members, you can message them without being friends.
- Does the other person know if I cancel a request?
- The request disappears from their Pending list. Discord does not send a notification that it was cancelled.
- How do I stop strangers sending me friend requests?
- Open User Settings, then the friend request settings, and choose who can send you requests, such as only friends of friends or server members.
- What is the difference between a username and a display name?
- The username is unique and is how people add you. The display name is what shows in chat and can be anything, including a name someone else uses.
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Test log
Followed the steps? Tell us how it went on your device. Entries appear here after we check them.
- Worked Every step, start to finish · Elias Brandt and Marta Kowalczyk Team
I tested this
Steps performed and confirmed 8 days ago
When you need this
If you want to message someone on Discord outside a server, add them as a friend with their exact username. They have to accept before you become friends.
- Describes
- Discord desktop app for Windows and Mac, and Discord in a browser · Discord app for iPhone and Android
- Takes
- Under a minute
- Platforms
- Web · Windows · macOS · iOS · Android
- Published
- 15 October 2026
- Facts checked
- 10 October 2026
Steps repeated and verified by 
Elias Brandt and 
Marta Kowalczyk
on
- Elias Brandt: the Windows and web steps on a ThinkPad X1 Carbon (Windows 11 Pro).
- Marta Kowalczyk: the Mac steps on a MacBook Air (macOS 27.0.1), the iPhone steps on an iPhone 16 Pro (iOS 27.0.1) and the Android steps on a Galaxy A55 (Android 16).
Discord